Dead Hearts
by Squeeb100
Summary: The lives and deaths of the Soul Eater gang as seen through the eyes of Crona. Post-manga (so obviously, spoilers). Songfic to Dead Hearts by Stars. Very sad.


**BE CAREFUL OF THE MANGA SPOILERS, CHILDREN.**

 **IMPORTANT: DUE TO FANFICTION RESTRICTIONS, I HAD TO _REMOVE_ THE SONG LYRICS. LOOK THEM UP AND READ THEM ALONGSIDE THIS IF YOU WANT - I LEFT THE BEGINNINGS IN TO INDICATE WHERE I WAS. I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT. PLEASE ENJOY IT ANYWAY. I'M PISSED TOO,BELIEVE ME.**

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 **Well, yeah. This just happened. I just about cried writing it, soooooooo...please enjoy, I guess. This is meant to be a story about everyone, not just Crona, but it kind of includes him/her more than I had first intended, so...sorry about that.**

 **I heard the song Dead Hearts and just about flipped and this whole Headcanon just went off (uh, yes, pun intended). And then I thought about this every single time I listened to the song (which is a lot right now because I currently am obsessed with it) and had to write it, even though I'm trying to put more Zelda stuff on here. Shoot. _Whatever._ I just write whatever comes to me, so it ain't my fault when it revolves primarily around one character from one fandom...(JK it's completely my fault).**

 **Okay, so. I apologize about the long author's note. I don't own Soul Eater, blah blah blah, etc.**

 **PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! THROW ME A FRIKIN' BONE HERE, PEOPLE. I NEED TO KNOW THE DETAILS.**

 **WARNING: Please don't try to listen to the song while you read (unless you want it on repeat), due to the fact that I write way too much and you'd finish the song three times over by the time you finished this.**

 **Please enjoy,**

 **-Squeeb100**

 **OHGODTHEFEELSNOOOOOO**

* * *

Time passes strangely when you have no perception of it. When you're just a disembodied soul, you have all the time you could possibly want. It was dark. It was quiet. There was nothing tangible in my vicinity except for darkness, and it wasn't long before that drove even _me_ mad.

Well...

Madder.

I searched for something to hold onto, anything to keep myself together even as I fell apart. I looked to the past. I looked to the present – not my present, but theirs. The present of the ones who had escaped. The ones who reached safety as I passed, the ones who had once given me a chance even when they must have known that it was impossible to change me.

 ** _Tell me..._**

I looked to Black*Star and Tsubaki, to Kid and Liz and Patty and Soul. I hadn't talked with them much when I was with them, but they had been almost too kind to me. When I first met them, they seemed to shine – they were happy. They had aspirations. They had friends, and they had reason to love and protect others. They had practically glowed to me at that time. They were perfect.

 _ **They had...**_

That was what I had needed then. If they were surrounded by halos of light, I must have carried my dark aura with me everywhere I went. I couldn't get past my upbringing. I couldn't rise above myself, in the end. But they must have anticipated that; they must have guessed that I couldn't be changed. But they tried, and their light dimmed my darkness, even if only a little bit, and for a short time.

Black*Star was obnoxious and loud, but he was a good person at heart. If he ever thought something was wrong, he would try to wrench it out of me, prepared to help in any way possible (but preferably if it involved beating someone up for me).

Tsubaki was a lot like me, I think. She was a lot braver and a better person overall, I know, but she understood things that a lot of people don't. She wouldn't try to work an awkward conversation out of anyone. She understood the benefits of just...being. She would sit quietly with me when I refused to talk, and never even betrayed a hint of discomfort.

Kid was...neurotic. He had an obsession with symmetry that he never, ever got over. I remember hiding from him as he searched frantically for me, desperate to "fix" my hair. I wish I had let him now. He was the first person beside Maka to accept me. He talked to me openly, even as I shied away and avoided eye contact. He told me we were friends, and that was one of the kindest things I've ever been told.

Liz was like Kid. She tried to give me a makeover once and it...didn't turn out well. But she tried, and it was the effort that made my day. Patty was, if anything, my opposite. She was hyperactive and bubbly and cute, and it lightened my spirits to just be around her.

As for Soul, he and I were only ever tolerant of each other – we shared a sense of commitment to Maka that always led to silent disagreements, jealousy, and staredowns that I always backed away from first. He loved Maka as much as I did, though, and he was kind to me in the final moments that I spent with him, so I grew to love him as much as I did the others.

But the doors of madness only open one way. I let it in, and it wouldn't leave. I ended up hurting them all, and being locked away, apart from them forever.

 _ **Did you see...**_

 _ **Did you hear...**_

My time stopped. I'm forever suspended here, doomed to stare out this one-way mirror forever. They moved on, however, and I watched them grow.

I saw Black*Star grow into a war god. He fulfilled his dream, and I wish I could say it took his ego down a few notches, but that is sadly not the case (he did evolve into a more gracious personality, however). He was always fiery, but he became a warmer, gentler spirit – he stayed at Shibusen and became a martial arts teacher, and I'm sure it's needless to say that his students adored him.

Tsubaki remained as motherly as ever, and became a wonderful mother to her own children. She emerged from her shell as she grew older, and told colorful stories of the war against Asura to Black*Star's students. I nearly cried when she included me and didn't portray me as a villain, so much as...a friend.

Kid gradually became used to his position as the Shinigami, and settled the dispute between Shibusen and the witches once and for all. He raised many great Meisters and weapons, but there were no Death Scythes created once he took the throne. He never lost his love of symmetry; there were several alterations to the school and the city in the months following his enthronement. Liz and Patty stayed faithfully by Kid's side until the end. Liz gave birth to Kid's child, and Patty remained her immature, bouncy self for the rest of her life.

Soul was the last Death Scythe, which obviously enhanced his coolness. He married the Meister who had helped him achieve that title, and lost his fear of playing the piano in front of people. He opened a music store on an inconspicuous little corner in Death City, where he sold records, gave lessons, and independently composed music.

 _ **They moved forward...**_

As much as it filled me with pride to see them living their lives, however, my guilt always emerged to bring me back down. I felt terrible knowing what I had done before I was sealed away. It had been like looking through a tinted window, seeing what I was doing, seeing the fear in the eyes of people who I had loved, and not being able to do a thing about it.

 _ **Please, please tell me...**_

I saw their fear, I saw their pain. It was the least I could do to separate myself from them. I erected a barrier between us when I used Brew, and I still feel that things worked out better this way. I was fifteen when we were separated.

 _ **They were...**_

It was extremely difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that I was imprisoned on the moon for eternity, but it was even harder to grasp the fact that eternity means _forever._ That I would be in the same position all over again, trapped behind a tinted window, watching my friends live out their lives, grow old, and die. It was hard for me to understand until it started happening.

 _ **I could say it...(full verse)**_

Patty was the first to go. She was killed protecting Kid. I watched her unfurling from her weapon form with bated breath, and felt her pain clearly as she blocked the blow. It was a brave effort, and her final words were those of an old soul. She was only twenty-three and still childish as ever, so I was astonished to hear the uncharacteristically wise words that she uttered to her distraught sister and Meister as she slipped off into oblivion. They weren't the words of a scared little kid, but those of a mother, the mother that she and her sister had always been to their Meister: "Kid, I have to go now...take care of Liz. I'm glad I saved you, so shut off your tears and please, please be the best Shinigami-sama ever. I know you won't be symmetrical, but just pretend I'm there, in your hand, just like always. Bye-bye, Kiddo..."

Tsubaki and Black*Star died together on a mission. They had infiltrated an army bunker full of Kishin eggs, and while they had managed to kill the majority of them off, one escaped and pulled a lever. I had the same sinking feeling as when Patty died, and moments later, the bunker self destructed.

When the dust cleared, the two were holding hands. They smiled at each other as their heartbeats faded. Black*Star was thirty years old, and Tsubaki nearly thirty-three.

Soul composed a great many pieces in his lifetime, but I never heard one so sad as the improvisation he played the day he died. He had been diagnosed with cancer years earlier, and he had fought through chemotherapy and surgery until he was told that it wasn't doing any good - he gave up on treatment and felt much better. He was happy in his last few months; he finally faced his family and lavished his attention on his son, Wes. It was raining the day he died, and his last song to the world was my favorite. He played to the slamming of the rain against the window, then quietly stood, walked to the bed he shared with his wife, and lay down. He died hours later, holding Maka's hand. He was forty-six.

Liz died in New York City, the place in which she had first been saved by Kid when she was just a teenager. She was getting up in years and decided to go back and face her childhood before it was too late. She visited all of the landmarks she and her sister had once known so well, and started making a scrapbook of her experiences. She wrote as if she were talking to her sister, who had been dead for over forty years by then. On her last day there, she called Kid. "I'll be home tomorrow. I'm just going for one more look around." She was caught in an alleyway by thugs, who robbed and shot her. She bled out in that alley with no one nearby, and I watched it. It may be selfish of me to assume that I understand what she thought in her last few moments, but she looked up at the night sky in such a way that I almost thought that she knew I was there with her. When she finally died, it was a relief to both of us. She was sixty years old.

Kid was the last to pass on. He did so in a way so similar to that in which his father did that it reopened the wounds from that time for both of us. The son that he had borne with Liz finally realized his full potential, forcing Kid to move on. That was only a few years after Liz died, and he smiled, knowing that he would be reunited with both his weapons once more. He was eighty-eight years old, and I couldn't help but wonder if he had planned the date of his death.

It's been ages since they all died, but they still don't seem to be gone.

 _ **I could say it but...(full verse)**_

They were all my friends, and I felt it when they passed on. I felt their pain as clearly as if it had been my own. I assume that it's part of my punishment. Time is hard to understand here. It feels like just yesterday that I was there with them, that we were all alive, on earth, together.

 _ **Did you touch them...**_

I still get a sinking feeling every time I think of them. However, I know that this moment...this death will be the hardest for me. I don't know if I'm ready to let go of her yet.

 _ **They make me...**_

Maka, my first friend. The reason I sealed myself with Asura in the first place. The reason I ever did anything, really. I never understood myself or other people, but Maka was always there to help me. I love her more than anyone else that I met in my lifetime. I've watched her more closely than any of the others. I'm happiest when she's happy, and when she's upset, it devastates me. She is the one that I still can't imagine living without. She is the one that I just can't imagine dying; she seems too strong.

But that dreaded feeling is back, and I know that it is time. I don't know what will happen after this.

 _ **Was there...**_

Maka has evolved immensely since I first met her. She is no longer the short-tempered, perfectionistic, and, as much as I hate to admit it, somewhat immature girl she was then. She went through college and achieved a high degree, then settled down to become a mother and an author. She wrote several books, fiction and nonfiction. Her nonfictional books were primarily guides and short stories about moments from her childhood and teenage years that she remembered the best. Her fictional books were full of insane and wacky characters based on Black*Star, Tsubaki, Liz, Patty, Kid, Soul, and...me. They became bestsellers not only in Nevada, but worldwide. They were translated into fifteen different languages. She started writing shortly after Patty died, but continued on until a few years ago. Not many people know what her books are based on, or how much pain writing about each friend that died brought to Maka's soul.

Maka always had trouble recovering from every death that occurred. She had once asked Kid personally if she could start a small graveyard separate from the Death Room, and of course, he consented.

The first memorial in it was a small black cross dedicated to me ("Crona Makenshi, Unknown – 2013"). Patty was buried there when she died as well ("Patricia Thompson, 2003 – 2020"), followed by Tsubaki and Black*Star, sharing a tombstone ("Black*Star, 2001 – 2031", and "Tsubaki Nakatsukasa, 1999 – 2031"). Liz was then buried right next to Patty ("Elizabeth Thompson, 1997 – 2057"). There was another black cross in memorial to Kid ("Death the Kid, aka Shinigami-sama, 2000 – 2088"), and finally, a tombstone above Soul's grave that reads: "Soul 'Eater' Evans, 2000 – 2046" and "Maka Albarn Evans, 2000 - _." It is a small graveyard on a small hill, but it serves its purpose well. We're all there together. Maka has visited it every day since the first stone was placed, bringing flowers for every person remembered within it. It's been over eighty years, and she's been so faithful to all of us...I hope someone remembers to bring her flowers when she's gone.

 _ **They were...**_

Maka remains the smartest person I've ever known. She's still as fiery as ever, but her age has taught her patience. She raised a talented Meister with Soul – a child (whom I think I already mentioned) named Wes. He has a family of his own now. I watch as they enter the hospital to say their last goodbyes to Maka. I watch as she smiles at them and tears fill their eyes. She kisses her grandchildren on the forehead and they are sent off to stay at the academy with the current Shinigami, Kid's son. She holds Wes's hand and closes her eyes.

It's close now.

I don't know if I can handle this.

 _ **I could say...(full verse)**_

"Wes," Maka begins weakly. Her voice is softer and roughened with age, but it's still _her_ voice. Her son looks up and grips her hand anxiously. "Wes, play me a song, please. I want to hear your music one last time before I go."

"I-I left my violin in the car, mom-"

"Please get it. I promise I won't die until you get back." Maka smiles at her bitter joke. Her once fair skin is now wrinkled. She has deep worry lines in her forehead and under her mouth, and crow's feet branch out from her still-youthful eyes. Her face has changed, but it's still _her_ face.

"A-alright, Mom." Wes stands up and hurries out the door, leaving Maka alone in the room. Her heart monitor beeps steadily. She's so old and so frail, her body so changed from the strong one that I remember. But under her weak, ninety-nine year old body, she's still thirteen. Through all of the things she's endured, she's still my Maka. She still has the same heart.

It's quiet for a few moments, and then Maka speaks. "I know you're watching me," she says to the ceiling. She can tell I'm here. I don't know how to respond to her, though I desperately want to. "You've always been watching me," she continues. "You never forgot me. And I never forgot you. I'm so, so sorry that I never came back for you..." she trails off.

I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to comfort her. _It's alright! I was never upset! There was no way you could have come!_ But I can't do anything. It's the most helpless feeling in the world.

"I couldn't help you, after all you went through...I _promised_ to come back for you, Crona. And I never did. I didn't help. I didn't help any of the others when they died. All I can do is read and write and throw fits...I haven't changed a bit."

 _No! No, Maka! It's not your fault at all! You couldn't have done anything!_

"I'm sorry. But I'm so glad that you're there. I'm so selfish...here I am being glad that you suffered through the deaths of all of our friends with me, when I'm about to die and leave you alone...It's so helpless. I can't do anything for you. You're stuck and I feel so...so bad..."

 _It's my own fault, Maka!_

"But I want to thank you for everything you've done. I'm so sorry about...everything, but thank you anyway. I feel like I have a personal angel. I can always feel you when you're nearby. I miss everyone, and I miss you. I'm going to be reunited with them soon, but..." a tear trickles down her cheek and anger overwhelms me. Anger at everything. At everyone. Why am I stuck here? It's not _fair!_

Wes raps gently at the door, then opens it. "Mom? Who are you talking to?"

"No one," Maka replies, flicking her tears away as her son removes his violin from the case. Maka smiles. "I'm so glad that you're a musician, just like your father."

Suddenly I know what to do to thank her. To tell her that I'm here, to say goodbye. The last time I saw her was when our souls were placed in Soul's first full composition, the one that was to give them the strength to combat the Kishin. Wes lifted the violin to his shoulder and I focus as hard as I can. Those souls are still here, that composition is still here somewhere...I find it just as Wes begins to play.

He thinks it's improv, but Maka knows better. Tears fill her eyes and she smiles as she hears the souls of all of her friends who had passed on.

Black*Star. Tsubaki. Soul. Kid. Liz. Patty. Me. Her father. Lord Death. Stein. Sid. Everyone – everyone's souls ringing together in a swift movement of the fingers and the lifting of the bow.

 _ **I could say...(full verse)**_

Maka lays back and closes her eyes, relishing the notes, remembering. Tears flow down her cheeks, and I would be crying too, if I could. She sighs as Wes finishes the song with the note of Maka's soul.

"Thank you," she whispers, to both Wes and me. "Thank you." Her son grasps her hand and I feel the gentle tugging of her soul.

 _ **They were...**_

Maka's soul floats from her body, up and away to wherever it is destined to be. She smiles as the heart monitor pauses and then holds one long note.

They're all gone now. It's only me left.

 _ **Now they're all...  
**_

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 **END**


End file.
